The things you find when you clean up your hard disk...

[caffey]

Note: This is for fun purposes only, but it's not intended to make fun of anyone but the characters portrayed. This is coming from a person on a caffeine high and suffering insomnia (it's 11:30 am local and sleep still eludes her). In other words, she's insane and doesn't mean harm. In fact, she really likes the theme of this new contest and seriously considers entering, but due to the aforementioned sufferings, couldn't help herself and came up with this little ficlet after 20 long hours of being awake.

Thanks go out to Anne Rose and caldosh, beta readers and co-conspirators extraordinaire. They should also be awarded medals for putting up with me when I'm in this state of mind. It sure can't be healthy for them.

A Day in the Lives of our Beloved, Albeit Demented, Voyager Crew
By This Insane Gal (formerly known as Caffey)

Once upon a time, in a quadrant far, far away, a redhead Captain, unexpectedly and for no immediately obvious reason, asked her darkly handsome First Officer to follow her to the Ready Room. When Tattoo Guy failed to react with the expected speed, Redhead took things into her own hands, literally, and dragged him off by his hair.

Meanwhile, Flyboy, who had been waiting years for one of them to make a move on the other, coaxed his body into the most humanly impossible positions in order to keep a close tab on his commanding officers for as long as possible. Inevitably, that maneuver resulted in a loud thud when he fell off of his chair and much bruising when he hit the hard floor seconds afterwards. The narrator will refrain from repeating the colorful expletives that followed.

Redhead and Tattoo Guy were, however, blissfully oblivious. Although love, even lust, had nothing to do with it. Redhead was much too busy dragging the much taller and much heavier Tattoo Guy into her Ready Room. And Tattoo Guy -- well, suffice it to say he was in too much pain to notice anything but his hair being ripped off his scalp.

Flyboy, counting his blessings, took advantage of his position on the floor to watch the spectacle playing out in front of him and the other, albeit shocked-into-silence, bridge crew until the Ready Room doors closed.

Sadly, the narrator will have to stop at this point, since she unfortunately doesn't possess x-ray vision. Nor is she in any shape, physically as well as mentally, to transform into a fly on the wall. Not to mention that, much to her dismay, the Ready Room walls are soundproof.

The End (unless the narrator spontaneously mutates into a fly that can slip through airtight doors)

Comments

[kayryn.livejournal.com]

ROTFLMAOPIMP!!

*snort*

Still ROTFLMAO!!!

[caffey.livejournal.com]

Breathe, dear. Breathe! LOL

[kayryn.livejournal.com]

But it's so hard. Cos this is so priceless!!

I mean gods...

Spending 25-30 euros per VHS tape with two Voyager episodes for the whole seven seasons... I don't wanna count how much that makes... But it's finally worth it all!!!

[caffey.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel any better, when I found this yesterday, I snorted coffee out of my nose upon reading it. Clearly, I'd forgotten all about it. *g*

Thank you. :)

[ufp13.livejournal.com]

*ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFL*

*wipes the tea from her laptop*

[caffey.livejournal.com]

Hee! I hope the laptop wasn't damaged.

[ufp13.livejournal.com]

it has seen worse.

[caffey.livejournal.com]

Good. I think. *scratches head*

[chiroho.livejournal.com]

Yes, you are quite definitely crazy. ;-)

LOL

[caffey.livejournal.com]

I will take that in the spirit in which it was hopefully intended, as a compliment. Thank you! *lol*

[chiroho.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was intended that way.

Though, to be honest, anyone that hangs out here on LJ has to be at least a bit crazy. ;-)

[caffey.livejournal.com]

Well yes, it's a basic requirement, I suppose, but some of us just take it to a whole new level. :)

[nimue47.livejournal.com]

*makes note not to check LJ at work*
Julia and Christian are still looking at me strange for literally snorting water all over my keyboard and laughing quite loudly. Sheesh!

[caffey.livejournal.com]

You of all people should know better. You've known me for how long? Seven years now? Clearly, you still need to learn a thing or two about me and my level of insanity. :P

[nimue47.livejournal.com]

Hon, knowing you made it so tempting to click on that cut... ;)
And by today they forgot all about it (hopefully). Or I will have to just pour lots of alcohol into Julia tonight to make her forget! 8)
(yay! cocktails!)
K

[caffey.livejournal.com]

Sure, blame me for your own wackiness. The fact that Julia is still having cocktails with you tonight tells me that she's quite used to your crazy self by now.

Either that or she's really into cocktails. :D

[nimue47.livejournal.com]

not only Julia, but also Patrick, Saskia & Uli, hehe. They've all known me for 2 years now, so I guess they should be used to my antics by now.
;)

[caffey.livejournal.com]

They'd better be or they'll need counseling soon. >8)

[nimue47.livejournal.com]

Oh you mean, mean girl. They are actually the ones who make me drink much more than I want to... 1 jumbo (0.65l) and 1 daiquiry... Let's say I was tipsy (*cough*)... I think they enjoy clumsy, chatty me...

[caffey.livejournal.com]

Ya think? *smiles sweetly*

[nimue47.livejournal.com]

:PPP
Gosh, I am hungry! why does alcohol always make me hungry the next day.

[caffey.livejournal.com]

I bet it's not alcohol in general, it's the rest alcohol in particular. The one that also still makes you chatty? *eg*

[nimue47.livejournal.com]

I am pretty sure I am sober. :P
I did do horribly when I tried to patch this morning... I gave up pretty quickly and am now doing some mindless sorting through data

[caffey.livejournal.com]

Your definition of sober needs some revision. *lol*

[nimue47.livejournal.com]

Nope... not at all. :P

[kizmet-42.livejournal.com]

I didn't need any more proof. lol

[caffey.livejournal.com]

I was going to say that nobody who has been on my flist since the creation of this journal needed proof, but then nimue47 proved me wrong.

Now I'll just say that if it made you laugh, my mission was accomplished. :)

[nimue47.livejournal.com]

:PPP

[meowpurr777.livejournal.com]

ROFL Caff that's a hoot!!

[caffey.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thanks! :)

[dk2022.livejournal.com]

:: Giggles insanely :: Those sort of crazy fics that you suddenly find on your HD always rock! :D I just had my brother ask, 'Why are you laughing so creepily?' :D I like freaking him out.

Great fic! :D

Rach xxx

[caffey.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :) I tend to repress these things until, years later, they suddenly reappear and bite me on the ass. I love that kind. *g*

[jadetrekeast.livejournal.com]

Good thing my Diet Coke can was empty when I read this. LOL

[caffey.livejournal.com]

The LJ cut text should have been sufficient warning, especially for someone who knows me as well as you do. ;)